The Night

I thought of a really good title for this entry but it's completely gone out of my head now.  Still, doesn't really matter, does it?

I came up against a problem.  The AQA IGCSE chemistry, and in fact biology, syllabi both cover water fluoridation, including objections to it, but yet ("but yet"?) i feel there's a bigger problem encompassing the disagreement, and i also wonder if that problem is growing.  Anyway, here they are:

This was initially one great long sixteen-minute video.  The question i raise may be naive, but i'd like someone to tell me why it's naive rather than just say nothing.

Here's today's:

This is about sin, wickedness and evil.  I would've preferred to video it at the venue, but it was not to be since not everyone's happy to appear on camera.  Ah well.  Still, trying to introduce a bit of variety.

I kind of feel things are starting to shift a bit.  Actually, hold on a minute, i've just remembered something.  There's some kind of thingy YT are doing.  Here's a trailer or whatever:

Basically, it probably would be useful if whatever it is that prevents this channel from working becomes clear to me as a result and it's something i'm prepared to change, or can change.  However, i suspect that it'll turn out to be unchangeable.  Whereas the advice on the creator playbook is good, i feel i've followed it as far as i can without much result.  For instance, tentpole programming works to an extent but that will inevitably fade as quickly as it grows and you're left with a whole load of videos which nobody watches any more.  I am aware that the other channels work better partly because they stick to one subject and leave breathing space, and are outrageous and elicit a strong emotional response, and all that works quite well.  However, once again i have a strong feeling of dissatisfaction that the main channel just won't take off no matter what i do, and i think it may be part of my personality or trying too hard.  I suspect that what will happen with the creator academy is that a lot of people will pick up a lot of useful tips and maybe even mentoring, and move on up, but i'll be left where i am now with not only nothing to show for it but a whole load of channels that are even harder to compete with than before.  However, there's more to life than views and subs.  It's just a really long, slow slog basically, and i'm not even sure it's leading anywhere, but there are other benefits.

Also, i think i'm still ploughing my own furrow too much, not just in the haphazard nature of my channel but in terms of not interacting effectively with other people on YouTube.  I've noticed recently that i've paid less attention to what's going on with other channels.  I think this may be to do with Becoming YouTube.  Benjamin Cook's big gaps are a bit weird and i tend to switch off during them.

The pregnancy vlog, on the other hand, is both going well and fun.  I am doing various things to my body to get it to do what it does on there and that's proving to be a challenge, but it's also similar to body piercing and tattooing - a kind of non-health based interaction with the body as art which is very creatively stimulating and seems to be opening new doors to me.  Thursday's video will be called "Human Baby Buggy" and i was planning it today.  One thing i'm going to add is an account of the baby's development and i'm also going to try meditating on the imaginary baby to increase my conviction that it's in there.  Another very interesting development is what's happening to my chest.  As i type this, there's an ache on the medial side of my right breast and i've been experiencing similar twinges for several days now.  Whereas when i last measured them, they turned out to be 38A of all things, rather than 38AA, it's very hard to see them objectively. I need to start taking galactogogues, i think.  I am probably fooling myself into thinking i'm starting to get a let-down reflex.

Right:  bye for now!