A couple of weeks ago in church, I was sitting at the back wardening when a family who used to come turned up there unexpectedly. They had left for very valid reasons a few years ago to "do church" in a different way and I think they probably attended to support some friends who were taking a prominent part in the service. They gave me a bit of a sideways look but went and sat down on the pews. A few minutes later, one of them got up to visit the lav and asked me why I was wearing a skirt, to which my reply was "it's really complicated". Considering that I was on duty and unable to enter a long egocentric diatribe about the whole thing, this was about the best I could manage in the circumstances. Nonetheless it is a valid question and I'm sure it does seem peculiar to a lot of people that I'm both a committed Christian and transitioning. This is just here to explain.
Before I start, I want to point out that there are many sophisticated and prayerful commentaries on the internet about this subject by Christians and this is not going to replace those. People particularly focus on the group described in many English translations of the Bible as "eunuchs". I'm not going to do that here and nor am I going to be theologically very deep, but I just want to point out that that stuff is there if you want to look for it, both sympathetic to and opposed to the trans issue, and of course it's feasible to be both at the same time.
It's tempting to commit the secular style sin of a numbered list at this stage, but I will resist that temptation and instead do it as bullet points. There ought to be about nine of them. OK:
- I genuinely believe myself to be female. To others, I may be mistaken about this or it may seem delusional. Perhaps from a rather conservative Christian perspective, I might be possessed. However, the fact remains that from my perspective, I am female. God obviously is not going to want me to deceive others, so I present as female. All that not wearing skirts, not shaving, not wearing make up and not having breasts was a lie. Apparently it wasn't even done very well although I didn't know that at the time, so apparently I'm not a good liar. I've been described as wearing "ladies' tracksuits" - I had no idea I was doing that. So in order not to violate the ninth commandment, which is an extremely prominent Judaeo-Christian injunction, I now present as female.
- God already knows what I'm doing, feeling, thinking and so forth inside, so in a way there's no point in not doing this. Here's some of Psalm 139: