OK, let me just see where this goes. I'm not really sure what I'm going to write here.
You may have noticed that over the past few days I've not quite been my usual brightly optimistic new self so much, something that normally only happens occasionally. For instance, yesterday I expressed the hopefully not very depressing opinion that although the Basic Income Scheme was a brilliant idea which might even save the human race from extinction, any party adopting it as a policy would be committing electoral suicide. This is not a particularly cheery view, and not one I've recently been accustomed to expressing, but it is very like the kind of thing I used to say before the catastrophe. So, why did this happen?
I think it's established that we all have mood cycles, and that some people find them more noticeable because the cycle has a big red streak marking it, so it was suggested quite reasonably by some people that that's what was happening. In fact, it wasn't. That happened about a week and a half ago, and I know that because it keeps in step with my daughter. This is not cloud-cuckoo land incidentally - I'm aware of lacking the equipment but this doesn't require it and we all have it, not just women of whatever variety one might or might not be.
It wasn't that then. What was it? It's actually fairly simple. At that point there were two sources of stress in my life. One of them was the impending appointment at the gender clinic, which is on 8th December. I still have a couple of things to do there, and I know I'm conforming to a gender stereotype but it may or may not be that they want me to do that and I don't want to take any risks. Earrings and eyebrows basically. There was another one though - tax fines.
This is the process I go through when I think about income tax. I do understand that it is, for instance, paying for the gender clinic and the roads which bring the herbs my way so I can help you lovely personages retain their hair and other forms of healthiness. I tend to think of it as either a form of theft (which might be OK) or a form of slavery (which might be OK). I'm not sure there's anything in between those two. I also think people could just be nice instead and forget about money. Anyway, I have had a nasty fine hanging over my head and it was doing it in. Well, I made a 'phone call this afternoon, paid a substantial part of it and set up a direct debit. Yes! I actually did something together and normal!
So now I have no money. Is this a bad thing? No! What it means is that I am no longer "lost in the land of eternal dither" as my friend Lori once classically said. I have dumped a tangle from my mind, and having dumped that tangle, I can now get on with actually generating an income for once. I have clarity, straightforwardness and purpose.
Now all I need to think about is what to say to the apparently nice people in Nottingham about the dangly bits inter alia. I have a slight concern about money, but no, the money will come. It came today, some of it got spent on gloop, some on baked beans, and now we have baked beans and gloop which magically makes you like cardigans like this one over which the, well, less hairy people in the family bicker good-naturedly: