Sunday, 17 March 2013

...and a strange and growing restlessness had hung in the air all day

I haven't made a video today because of the fact i made two yesterday, but i'm a little concerned about them because i think i was in a bit of a weird state of mind on Saturday.  The problem seemed to be a combination of fatigue (did Nitelite the previous night) and isolation, which is why i need to inject reality, but how?  I'm trying.

I'm working through my list and adding to it.  Someone wants a non-Newtonian fluid video, so that's coming, probably the day after tomorrow.  I also need to do a subscriber trailer.  The list on FB now reads as follows:

Am I My Brain?
Special Relativity.
Twerking while talking about Heidegger - learning to twerk.
Does My Bum Look Big In This?
The Dad Meal.
Herbalism As Cybernetics - made a start.
Overvalued Ideas.
Coughs and Colds.
Writing an Ed Phil.
Tablet Turing Test.
Non-Newtonian Fluids.

I should also add the Grey Goo Scenario and tomorrow's vid on vegetable oils.

To be honest, one thing that's blocking me (having dealt temporarily with the other - more on that later) is that some of these videos will probably take a long time to make.  The Tablet Turing Test in particular needs three videos, quite a lot of scripting and careful audio editing.  It's probably worthwhile.

OK, here's my little bit of internal mental drama.  After yesterday's first video:

i hid away because i was concerned about a certain person's reaction.  However, i now realise that the most likely explanation for the complete lack of a reaction is that she simply hasn't been on YT in the past couple of days, which makes me want to fiddle with the image to make the moustache enormous or keep growing it until she responds.  However, the real fact is that she has a life and is doing other stuff, even if she considered it appropriate to respond, which is probably not the case.  All this stuff is going on in my own head, and it's hard to know what to do about that.

Anyway, the "strange and growing restlessness" i mentioned in the title is to do with my feeling of impending doom.  In fact, i seem to live my life under a cloud of looming doom.  Not sure what to do about that, since it's being going on since the '70s.  In this particular case, it's to do with the line i've just crossed, but almost certainly that'll not be the biggest deal.  The big deal will probably be the indifference.